Eyes, I need you.

I feel like i'm gonna be blind.. my short-sighted might be increasing to about 800 degree..

==!!!

Everyday just staring at the computer.. reading, surfing, browsing, and blogging...

*sweat me again*

Yesterday night i had a terrible dream.. i dreamed that my dad was the interviewer and i had my interview at home, in front of my dad. i'm the 3rd in a group of five. when it was my turn, i stammered when introducing myself with my broken english as well. then dad told me that i would definitely fail like that. *thunder struck me* and jumped to the next dream..
Countdown 4 days or 81 hours and 11 minutes. guess i must start working on my script now. i'm going to write essay again. gosh.. stress and tensed is here again... grrr........

Good luck for all the interviewees.

Blow up.

Lost my temper.

Broke down.

I'm forcing myself too hard..

I'm too tensed..

My head is gonna blew up.

Chill, pauline...

CHILL!!!!

I'm too depressed. I made myself to be like this. Myself to blame. I've been staying indoor for too long.. Going out for fresh air isn't work for me either... I feel like buying an air ticket and fly to far far enough.. I wanna scream, scream my heart out. I wanna burst into tears, right above the peak of hill. I don't wanna sleep but wait for the sunrise. I wanna see the upper edge of the sun appears above the horizon in the east. I want a NEW day for me everyday.


What a moron am I.. Stupid. Hell. I hate myself for being like this. I wish to lock this post, don't wanna bother anyone to spend time reading it. Out. Quit reading. I'm just expressing my current feeling here. Nothing happen. I'm fine after all.

Worrying something that won't be happened on me. SILLY.

You aren't the best, thus you can't do to the best....
it's for me.

100 Mys

Tagged by dear


1. Last beverage→ plain water
2. Last phone call→ tze
3. Last text message→ ying
4. Last song you listened to→ love in this club
5. Last time you cried→ dream counted? last week

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice→ nope
7. Been cheated on?→ yap
8. Kissed someone & regretted it?→ nope
9. Lost someone special?→ nope
10. Been depressed?→ yap
11. Been drunk?→ nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. pink
13. red
14. white

HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends→ yap
16. Fallen out of love→ nope
17. Laughed until you cried→ yap
18. Met someone who changed you→ yap
19. Found out who your true friends were→ yap
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ yap
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ nope
23. How many kids do you want to have→ 2 and all girls are better
24. Do you have any pets→ yap
25. Do you want to change your name→ nope, I like Pauline. =)
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ went out with friends, having steamboat
27. What time did you wake up today?→ around 11am =p
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ dancing with fingers
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for→ penthouse
30. Last time you saw your father→ 15 minutes ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ have a caring elder sister
32. What are you listening to right now→ 傻 by queenie
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom→ nope
34. What's getting on your nerves right now?→ how's my day after tomorrow
36. What's your real name→ EPL
37. Relationship Status→ single
38. Zodiac sign→ sagittarius
39. Male or female→ female
40. Elementary→ elementary what?
41. Middle School→ SMK Pending and KHS
42. High school→ KHS
43. Hair color→ natural black
44. Long or short→ long
45. Height→ honestly? 150cm
46. Do you have a crush on someone?→ yap
47. What do you like about yourself?→ i don't care much
48. Piercings→ yap
49. Tattoos→ nope
50. Righty or lefty→ righty

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → --
52. First piercing → when i'm 5
53. First tattoo → --
54. First best friend → karen =)
55. First sport you joined → badminton
56. First pet → kitten
57. First vacation → kl and genting
58. First concert → --
59. First crush → morgan then. anyone knows? XD (he doesn't know me)
60. First alcohol drink → beer

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → nope
62. Drinking → nope
63. I'm about to → read online novel
64. Listening to → true colours by olivia ong
65. Waiting for → this tagging to finish

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? → yap if the kids are quiet
67. Want to get married? → yap
68. Careers in mind? → mad scientist

WHICH IS BETTER IN A PARTNER?
69. Lips or eyes → eyes, the first sight
70. Hugs or kisses → hugs
71. Shorter or taller → taller
72. Older or Younger → older
73. Romantic or spontaneous → romantic
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → nice arms
75. Tattoos or piercings→ piercings
76. Sensitive or loud → loud?
77. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → nope
80. Drank hard liquor → nope
81. Lost glasses/contacts → nope
82. Sex on first date → nope ==!
83. Broken someone's heart → nope, i belongs to the next question
84. Had your own heart broken → yap
85. Been arrested? → nope
86. Turned someone down → yap
87. Cried when someone died → yap, the person in the film
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → yap, it's still like-ing

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → yap
90. Miracles → yap
91. Love at first sight → yap
92. Heaven → yap
93. Santa Claus → nope
94. Kissing on the first date? → yap if the feel is right
95. Angels → nope

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yap
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → nope
98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? → yap, for now
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → food
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → yap, can it be 100 Pauline's?

My 2007-2008

Now i'm reading back my old blog.. it reminds me those happy memories in my 2007-2008... the "style" of my blogging that time was quite childish and cute.. lol if compared, this blog is rather quite serious...

read many about my rc memories in the old blog... i admit that i really miss those moments.... in the old blog, i complained that i'd ton of paper works to do, going to weekly meeting again, etc.... huuuuu~~~ *sad feeling....*

besides than rc, there were also many school life memories..... 14 of us only in 5s4, photo-taking session in great wall, etc.... high school life.... ahhhhhhhh~~~ *sad feeling again.......*


so so so so..... blogging is quite good... it helps you to keep your memories, share your feeling with others and let your children or grandchildren to read in the future... looolx

continue blogging guys~~~!!

LOST RIP

I never thought that i will face the situation like now.. i'm now lost in choosing where to go after getting my spm results.. in the past, i told myself that since i'm good in math, i'll go for quantity surverying and also i'm not from the rich family so i'll go for matriculation.. but now, after i've finally decided to spend some time to search in google, read through some forum, i realised that i shouldn't be limitted by qs and matriculation only..

hell.. i never get to bother about my path after spm when im in f5 or after spm... but the date of getting spm results is just around the corner.. and i would admit that it makes me nervous.. matriculation is still an unknown for me.. i'm still not sure whether can i get the ticket of entering it.. and i also doubt my future from there... some people in the forum said that you will probably be stucked there after matriculation if your results are poor.. you have difficulty in applying for local uni and on the other hand you are also difficult to find jobs as the matriculation doesn't have the public qualification like stpm... if you can't enter local uni and want to go for private, u probably need foundation for 1 more year... this fears me.... i always thought matriculation is the shortest path for uni life.... but now it seems not a 100% fact.... as for qs.. if compared, civil engineering has a brighter future... some recommend that if you are good in math, you can try financial accounting and actuarial science.. accounting is definitely out for me and i'm not sure what actuarial science is..... and the last point... local uni or private?????!!!!! GOSH.......... everyone's advises for me are so minor.... i need to round out for a conclusion as soon as i can.......






confused, lost, dizzy and struggling..................
i'm pushing myself too hard.............
i still have 11 more days to RIP....................